King of Perverts
by KillerPen
Summary: There were just too many instances lately where Sasuke's hand had accidently landed on Naruto's developing chest during training for Jiraiya's comfort and the sad part was that the girl had no idea that she was being molested. So now it was up to Jiraiya to defend Naruto from Sasuke's lecherous paws. Fun, one-shot with protective Jiraiya, pervert Sasuke and clueless Naruto . R


**Naruto is not mine, but this plot is.**

* * *

Jiraiya never liked Sasuke. He had always had a bad feeling around the kid and he knew that one day the kid would be the stuff of nightmares.

It wasn't a specific characteristic that had Jiraiya on edge it was something ... familiar about the twinkle in that boy's eyes. Every time that he saw that twinkle, he could feel a chill run up his spine.

At first, he thought that it had something to do with Orochimaru. He could see parallels between the Orochimaru and the boy; they had similar attitudes, and backgrounds. But, after passing by a mirror after doing some _research _he realized what put him on edge.

Sasuke had the same perverted twinkle he had.

* * *

It had been a few years since Jiraiya came to his realization about Sasuke's true nature and knew that boy was up to something.

Normally Jiraiya wouldn't concern himself with such matters, in fact he probably would have encouraged the boy. Trained him in the fine art of women, but the way that boy looked at Naruto concerned Jiraiya.

Sasuke was always around Naruto; challenging the girl to fights, taking her out to ramen. It seemed that every spare moment the boy had he spent around Naruto, and lately the boy had been getting ... brave.

There were just too many instances lately where Sasuke's hand had accidently landed on Naruto's developing chest during training for Jiraiya's comfort and the sad part was that the girl had no idea that she was being molested. She didn't seem to realize how adorable she was or how to react when boys tried to get close to her.

So now it was up to Jiraiya to defend Naruto from Sasuke's lecherous paws.

It was a bit hypocritical of him, but Naruto was his goddaughter and the girl was too naive to be tied up with someone like Sasuke, and lord only knew what weird things the boy was into.

He had tried to bring the issue to more responsible parties, but no one seemed to understand how dire the situation was.

_Flashback *!*!*!_

_Tsunade and Iruka looked at him as if he had just announced that he was signing up for a sex change._

" _We have to do something ! He's after Naruto!" Jiraiya said in desperation. _

"_Jiraiya-sama, Sasuke is Naruto-chan's teammate, so of course they are going to spend some time together." Iruka said slowly, as if talking to a 4-year-old._

" _I've seen teammates interact, he doesn't look at the girl like that ! He's up to something !" Jiraiya exclaimed, flailing his arms. _

"_Oy, having you started drinking already?" Tsunade asked._

" _That's rich coming from you." Jiraiya said in frustration before a chair came flying his way._

_Flashback *!*!*!_

Even if he had to do so on his own, he would protect Naruto. He was the king of all perverts and he could counter whatever Sasuke had up his sleeve.

* * *

Jariya yerked the dark blue sleeping bag off to the side, away from the orange one and laid his sleeping bag in between the two.

Sasuke looked to his sleeping bag and then to Jariya with a surprised look in his eyes.

"I hope you don't mind the new sleeping arrangements." Jiraiya said with a smile.

"Hn." glare

* * *

"Oy, gaki where do you think you're going?" Jiraiya said grabbing the collar of Naruto's jumpsuit and pulling her back.

"Sasuke said he'd buy ramen." Naruto said jerking her body forward.

"Oh, no you don't. We have more training. Sasuke can go on home but you have to stay." He said sternly.

"B-but, my ramen! " Naruto said with big puppy dog eyes.

"If you do well, I'll take you to ramen. My treat, all you can eat." Jiraiya said.

"Yes!" Naruto said, surprising Jiraiya with a hug.

Jiraiya smiled at Sasuke.

"Hn." glare.

* * *

Sasuke had Naruto right where he wanted her, under him.

"Looks like you lose do-" Sasuke started to say before being propelled off of Naruto by a sudden blast of highly pressurized water and into the side of a tree.

"Oh, sorry uchiha, guess my aim was a little of there." Jiraiya smiled, rubbing the back of his head in fake embarrassment.

"Hn." glare.

* * *

Sasuke had been planning for this moment all day. He was so close to reaching his goal, getting what he wanted.

"What are you doing here." it was him again, Jariya.

" I'm finished taking my bath. I just came to get dressed." Sasuke said calmly, controlling his anger. Jiraiya had been interfering in his affairs and the old man had started to get on his nerves as of late.

"Somehow I doubt that you're a 36 D. Plus orange really isn't your color." Jiraiya said with a smile.

"Hn." Glare.

* * *

Jiraiya felt like he had done a good job over the years. He had kept Naruto away from Sasuke (and all other boys) without exposing her to the reality of the situation. He had kept her sheltered and safe from the true perverts of the world

Jiraiya and Tsunade had come to an agreement that while naruto would know about the _changes _her body would go through she would not know the details of sexual reproduction or the male anatomy till she reached the appropriate age, which Jiraiya estimated would be around 30.

"Ero-sennin ! You have to check out this new Jutsu I learned !" Naruto exclaimed, running up to Jiraiya.

" Oh ho, really a new jutsu? Did you come up with it your self?" Jiraiya asked, beaming with pride at his pupil.

"No, Sasuke taught it to me." Naruto said shaking her head.

"Sasuke?" Jiraiya questioned as the smile slipped off his face. The boy had been making great strides in power lately, thus allowing him to occasionally slip under Jiraiya's radar and gain more private time with Naruto. " What did he teach you?"

"The great fireball technique !" Naruto said happily

"The Great Fireball technique? That's the Uchiha clan's signature technique. Why is he teaching you that?" Jiraiya asked, his stomach twisting into knots, as it usually did when something bad was going to happen.

"He and I signed a contract. Sasuke is going to teach me a lot of new techniques and all I had to do was become is betroved."

"NANI? You're going to marry him !" Jariya yelled.

"What? Who said anything about marriage?" Naruto asked.

* * *

Jiraiya was not going to cry. Sure his goddaughter was getting married to the biggest pervert in history and there was nothing he could do about it ( he had checked, then rechecked then hired a bunch of lawyers to do the same but the contract was airtight), but he wasn't going to cry.

Watching Naruto walk down the aisle in her innocent white gown and he could feel his eyes burn.

He turned to the groom and meet eyes with Sasuke. That stupid pervert twinkle was there, in full force, spelling weeks of soreness for the poor girl making her way up the aisle.

Sasuke smiled.

' Oh, God' he thought as he blubbered, Minato was going to kill him ... and then bring him back to life and let Kushina have a go at him before repeating the process over and over again for the rest of eternity.

* * *

**Thinking about a part 2 to this one-shot, tell me what you think ! REVIEW, even a smiley face will do. Please feed my Muse ! REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW !**


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